Next Sunday, the battle of the birds takes place, as the Philadelphia Eagles travel to University of Phoenix Stadium to take on the Arizona Cardinals for a trip to the Super Bowl.

Now that you’ve wiped that water that you spit off of your screen and keyboard and finished laughing so hard that you fell off your dinosaur, let’s get serious. The Arizona Cardinals and the Philadelphia Eagles are actually playing a playoff game with serious ramifications. Serious, as in the winner will be one half of Super Bowl XLIII. Really. I’m not kidding here. There is no joke (other than how hilarious it was to see Eli Manning fall to his knees…in anguish this past Sunday, thus allowing the Eagles to advance to the NFL’s Final Four. Man, how bitter would I be if they actually played Super Bowl XLII and the Giants had won it? Oh well, guess it’s better to never know.)

Yet I digress, and as Snoop Doggy Dogg once said, “Back to the lecture at hand…” while I’m obviously resentful that a team that lost to the Patriots by FORTY is one game away from advancing to the Super Bowl, I can’t be too upset. To be upset at a team led by Kurt Warner is to be upset at God, and considering the rumored way that Super Bowl XLII allegedly ended, I’ve apparently done quite my share to upset Football God.

So Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, Matthew Lawrence and Al the Angel have a pretty sizable advantage in terms of karma. What makes the Philadelphia Eagles think they can win? The game is in Arizona, so there goes the option for Eagles fans to throw snowballs at God (and you know they would). And in terms of celebrity fans, Will Smith might have ushered us into the Willenium, but that pales in comparison to creating the Universe and all that encompass it. Albeit slightly.

What the Philadelphia Eagles have is a sudden wave of momentum in the city of Philadelphia. Not since Elton John sang of living and breathing Philadelphia Freedom from the day that he was born to wave the flag has there been this much positive karma in the city of Brotherly Love. The Sixers signed Elton Brand over the summer, the Phillies won the World Series in four and a half hard-fought games over the Tampa Bay Rays and the Flyers are in third place in the NHL’s Eastern Conference. No longer is Philadelphia the home of horribly depressing Bruce Springsteen songs, there is an actual sense of hope in the city for the first time since the Revolutionary War.

So who wins next Sunday? That depends. University of Phoenix Stadium, while being quite possibly the poorest choice for a stadium in the history of anything ever, has been the home to numerous great games. The 2007 Fiesta Bowl (most notable for FOX’s Chris Myers absolutely ruining Boise State running back Ian Johnson’s marriage proposal), the 2007 BCS National Championship Game (who had a worse game: Troy Smith vs. Florida or Shane Falco in his unknown Sugar Bowl disaster?) and the 2009 Fiesta Bowl (a great match-up between Texas and Ohio State) all have been played at U of P Stadium, and the culmination of the Patriots’ 19-0 season would have taken place there, had the game not been canceled. So the Stadium has something going on for it.

I think we’ll see a very entertaining game between two effective (a.k.a. undeserving) NFC teams, ultimately culminating in a dramatic final few minutes with the Eagles walking out of Arizona with a ticket to humid, muggy and awful Tampa for Super Bowl XLIII.

PREDICTION:

Philadelphia Eagles 34, Arizona Cardinals 30

And that’s the word.

I remember the good times in 2008: Bill Buckner receiving a roaring ovation on Opening Day at Fenway Park, Jon Lester twirling a no-hitter against the Kansas City Royals, the Celtics storming back from a 24-point defecit in Game Four of the NBA Finals, the Celtics eviscerating the Los Angeles Lakers by 39 points and winning the NBA championship and, of course, where exactly I was when I first heard the euphoric hymns of “About You Now” by the Sugababes. Ah, it was a good year.

Then, there were the bad times. Curt Schilling’s right shoulder MRI striking resemblance to the cover to Guns ‘n Roses’ “The Spaghetti Incident”, Manny Ramirez quitting on the Boston Red Sox in July, only to suddenly be “rejuvenated” with the Dodgers, and nobody in the national media ever questioning the fact that he outright quit on the Red Sox all in the name of a pay day, Tom Brady’s ghastly ACL injury, a dramatic increase in tornado watches and warnings in the state of Massachusetts, and, allegedly they played Super Bowl XLII and word has it the Patriots did not win. But I’ve yet to see or hear any evidence contrary to my belief that the game was never actually played.

But after a moment of reflection and heroically managing to wake up in the a.m. hours this morning, I’ve decided to put onto paper (or screen) my eleven can’t-miss predictions in the world of sports in the year 2009.

1. The Carolina Panthers will win Super Bowl XLIII. Led by the tandem running duo of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, the ‘Cats will beat the AFC Champion Indianapolis Colts in a 26-17 affair. Jake Delhomme will be named Super Bowl MVP under the new league bylaw that states that the Super Bowl MVP will be the winning team’s quarterback, no matter his on-field performance that night.

2. The Red Sox will sign Ben Sheets to a modest three-year deal, loaded with incentives. They will trade Clay Buchholz and low-level prospects to Texas in exchange for catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia, and on March 9th they will sign Jason Varitek, after Scott Boras realizes that the market is awfully slim for a catcher on the downward side of 30 with no discernible skills at the plate.

3. The Yankees will buy that 1994 Toyota Tercel you’ve been looking to sell, and they’ll do it for four times the asking price.

4. Laurence Maroney will have seen his last days as a Patriot, as he will be traded prior to the NFL Draft. The Patriots will then use the picks acquired to trade for Chiefs running back and malcontent Larry Johnson, who will be given a swift Belikick to the balls the moment he steps foot in Foxboro; meaning that he’s got one chance and he won’t be given the opportunity to screw it up. The Patriots will also make a run at free agent corner back Nnamdi Asomugha (too lazy to double-check the spelling).

5. The Boston Bruins will finish the regular season 2nd in the Eastern Conference standings, behind the New York Rangers. The Bruins will bow out in the Eastern Conference Finals to the Montreal Canadiens in a seven-game series for the ages, but not before catching the hearts and minds of New Englanders far and wide. The Stanley Cup will be hoisted by former Bruin Joe Thornton, as the Sharks will sweep the Canadiens, 4-0.

6. The Boston Celtics will repeat as NBA champions, winning the Finals in a clean sweep over the San Antonio Spurs. Four games against the Spurs will make Celtics fans realize that Sasha Vujacic’s incessant bitching and flopping is nothing compared to the Godfather of Bitching and Flopping, Manu Ginobili.

7. After sitting in second place for the majority of the 2009 season to the New York Yankees, the Red Sox will swing a dramatic trading deadline deal. Teams and players involved will be named in July, so be sure to stick with the Boston Blog!

8. The New England Patriots will place the franchise tag on Matt Cassel, then trade him to the San Francisco 49ers for San Fran’s first and fifth round picks in the 2010 NFL Draft.

9. The Red Sox will not win the World Series. But neither will the Yankees. The team hoisting the trophy alongside Bud Selig and Jeannie Zelasko will be the Chicago White Sox, in a six-game series against repeat National League champions, the Phillies.

10. At the conclusion of the year 2009, the Patriots will be 14-2, AFC East champions, and the #1 seed in the AFC.

11. I will finally understand the lyrics to “Human” by the Killers. But I’ll still hate it and think its an awful song.

…And on a somewhat related note, with last night being New Years’ Eve, I heard “Just Dance” by Lada Gaga about 1,014 times in the span of five hours, and I’ve got to say that I’ve heard some pretty lascivious songs in my day, but that one just takes the cake. It is indeed rare for a song to make a man of my delicate sensibilities blush or squirm in his seat, but this one does just that. She essentially spends 3+ minutes telling anyone within earshot about how wasted she is, how she has no idea where she is or where she’ll spend the night, and how she’s willing to make a few mistakes tonight, but hey, it’s all good, because she just wants to dance.

Well let me tell you something, Ms. Gaga…I’m not buying it. This just seems a little too much like a sting operation for me. “Dance”? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Is this the kind of strong femininity that the young girls of America are demanding? This is not the kind of inspiration we want the youth of America growing up on. Then again, it just hit me about two weeks ago that sixteen year-old girls can in fact drive cars, and apparently don’t spend their Friday nights accessorizing Barbie dolls. So I guess the moral of the story is that the times, they are a-changin’.

But dammit, when I was a kid, we had wholesome songs about love. Where is Celine Dion when you need her most? Where is Mariah Carey (pre-Tommy Mottola divorce) when you need her most? It’s just not right. America’s moral fibers are being torn apart, and I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of Lady Gaga.

Rant over, enjoy your weekends. And don’t “just dance”. Think about morals and then once you’ve properly weighed your options, if it seems like the best route to take, then just dance. Ju-ju-just dayance.

But I digress. And as Snoop Doggy Dogg once said, “Now back to the lecture at hand.” Let’s talk upcoming free agents for the New England Patriots.

First and foremost, Matt Cassel. He enters the free agent market as the hottest commodity of the off-season. He will be the apple of the eye of any team looking for a quarterback, limiting his options to: Bears, Chiefs, 49ers, Jets, Lions, Rams and Vikings. If the Patriots place the franchise tag on Cassel, he will receive a one year, $14.6 million contract. But if the Patriots let him test the waters, he could catch up to seven years and over $70 million from one of the teams mentioned.

For the Pats, a lot of this falls onto Tom Brady’s recovery. If Brady’s knee is as bad as initially reported, then he may miss all of the 2009 season, which probably will mean the end of the Tom Brady Era in Foxboro. But if Brady is healthy, Cassel will be given his walking papers and be free to sign elsewhere.

After Cassel, the biggest remaining name is Jabar Gaffney. Though Gaffney had a serious case of the Ben Watsons this past season, he’s still one of the more reliable targets for Cassel/Brady, and is possibly the best third receiver in the NFL. He gets to the open space when Welker and Moss are covered, and he does it better than anyone else. Also, Gaffney anchored the 2006 Patriots playoff run, with 10 catches in two separate playoff games. Losing Jabar would mean that Kelley Washington or Sam Aiken would have to step into the role of third receiver, and neither has the pedigree that Gaffney has.

And the third big name out there is…Russ Hochstein. Laugh all you want, but this ferocious offensive lineman carried the running game in the final two weeks of the season. When he was lined up at fullback, he blasted through defenders, creating massive holes for Kevin Faulk, Lamont Jordan and Sammy Morris. He’s also a solid backup guard and center, and can take care of his business if Logan Mankins, Stephen Neal or Dan Koppen suffer injuries.

But yesterday, the Curse of Brett Favre’s 250 Year Old Right Arm reared its ugly head once again. Favre threw three of the ugliest interceptions these eyes have ever witnessed, and handed the AFC East Division crown to the Miami Dolphins without much of a fight. Patriots fans should have known they were in trouble following last Sunday’s slate of games when the phrase “They need the Jets to win” was uttered, and taken seriously.

Let’s think about that for a second, shall we? We, as Patriots fans, were relying on a team that lost to the Oakland Raiders, San Francisco 49ers and Seattle Seahawks, and needed miracles to beat the Kansas City Chiefs and Buffalo Bills, to beat a red-hot Dolphins team. We sat there and talked ourselves into counting on Brett Favre and his paleolithic right arm. We believed that Eric Mangini, who in all rights is a fine defensive coordinator or defensive backs coach, would come up with a game plan that didn’t entail relying solely on Coach Klein’s green notebook. What were we thinking?

Well, luckily for Jets fans, and hilariously for Patriots fans, Coach Fredo Mangini was fired this morning. I guess someone has to take the blame. Now, if the Jets can talk Brett Favre into retiring, and then gently place him back in his sarcophagus without any serious damage, the Jets might actually look like a football team in 2009.

But enough about the laughingstocks down I-95. Let’s get serious and talk about the Patriots. I cannot say enough about this team. They had every right to throw in the towel after Bernard Pollard’s low hit on Tom Brady, eight minutes into the 2008 season. They had every right to just pack it up and play for 2009 after losing Laurence Maroney, Adalius Thomas and Rodney Harrison. But they kept playing, and if it weren’t for a few bounces here and there, the Patriots would be in the playoffs today. I can say with confidence that the last time I was this proud to call myself a fan of the New England Patriots was when Rodney Harrison intercepted Donovan McNabb’s last-second heave in Super Bowl XXXIX.

Matt Cassel is going to go down in New England sports folklore, right alongside guys like Dave Henderson, Dave Roberts, Derek Lowe, James Posey and Mike Lowell. Despite not making the playoffs, Cassel proved every doubter wrong, putting together a spectacular 2008 campaign, that, had the Patriots advanced to the playoffs, could very well have been an MVP season. He was that good, and even better if you remember how bad it looked in Week Three when he was scraped of the field by a spatula following the Dolphins’ shellacking of the Pats in Foxboro.

For the Patriots, they obviously have questions to answer. But that’s for another day. Today is a day of reflection. And like an Irish Wake, we’re here not to mourn a loss, but to celebrate a life. The 2008 Patriots went down swinging, and that’s all you can ask for, is your team to show life when it matters most.

Am I right, Jets fans?

Understandably, it’s 1:00 a.m. here on the East Coast, and I’m beat from a long day of football, culminating with the Patriots missing the playoffs for the first time since 2002. Don’t worry, we’ll cover that in excruciating detail, like only The Boston Blog can, tomorrow afternoon.

Also, we’ll discuss the Celtics and their pathetic two-game losing streak, which has to beg the question of whether or not the Celtics have grown complacent following their 2008 championship.

And hey, the Bruins are doing quite well for themselves, too! In case you haven’t noticed, they’ve managed to win a few here and there, and are currently tied atop the entire National freaking Hockey League for most points, alongside Jumbo Joe Thornton and the San Jose Sharks.

So strap in and hold on tight, because the Boston Blog is back, revamped and better than ever. I’ll hit you with facts, but all the while attempting to throw in some pathetic attempts at humor here and there, all to get a few minor laughs. And really, that’s what I’m all about.

The Wildcat offense is perfect for the Dolphins. They have three talented and agile running backs, Ronnie Brown, former malcontent Ricky Williams and Patrick Cobbs. When the Dolphins go into the Wildcat, it is in shotgun formation, typically with Brown and Williams in the backfield. The snap goes to one of the two backs, and the backs collapse onto one another, before blasting into the defense. Sometimes the back that took the snap holds onto the ball, sometimes he hands it to the running back to his side, and sometimes he throws it. And to add to the running back corps are receivers Ted Ginn and Greg Camarillo, both of whom have ran the ball multiple times this season.

The Patriots defense is old and wearing down. They face a multitude of injuries, and their injured reserve keeps getting more crowded, as linebacker Eric Alexander was added to the list this afternoon. The Patriots were in trouble when Tom Brady went down eight minutes into the 2008 season, but now they are the walking wounded, with seven key players on I.R. An aging defense combined with the stifling heat of Miami Gardens is a mixture that seems to lead to nothing but trouble for the Patriots.

However, the Patriots are led by Matt Cassel, who is coming off of his best game of the season, throwing for 400 yards and leading a miraculous drive late in the game, capped off by a last-second touchdown pass to Randy Moss. While the Patriots may have lost in overtime to the Jets, Cassel grew exponentially in front of a nationally televised audience, and seems to have enough confidence in himself. And he’ll need it, because he is facing the team that dealt him his first loss as a starting quarterback; a team that beat him up so brutally that he was benched in the fourth quarter for rookie Kevin O’Connell.

For the Patriots to win tomorrow afternoon, the defense will have to slow, if not altogether stop, the Wildcat offense. They will need to put the game in the hands of quarterback Chad Pennington, whom they’ve had a documented level of success against, when he was starting for the New York Jets. Bill Belichick was unprepared for the Wildcat in Week Three, but now he has had a week and three days to prepare for the Dolphins and their offensive scheme. It has been very difficult to beat a Bill Belichick defense twice in a season, as the last time a team beat the Patriots twice in a single season was the Denver Broncos in 2005.

Pedroia was the runaway winner of the 2008 American League Most Valuable Player award. He is the first Red Sox player since Mo Vaughn in 1995 to win MVP, and only the third Red Sox player to win the award in the past 22 years. Pedroia had 16 first-place votes, nine more than runner-up Justin Morneau, first baseman of the Minnesota Twins. Pedroia finished with 327 points, well ahead of Morneau’s 257.

Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis finished third in the voting, with two first-place votes and 201 points. The top five was rounded out with Twins catcher Joe Mauer (188 points) and Chicago White Sox outfielder Carlos Quentin (160 votes). The pitcher that received the most votes was Los Angeles Angels closer Francisco Rodriguez, who received one first-place vote and 143 points, following his record-breaking 62 save regular season.

Pedroia, the 2007 American League Rookie of the Year and 2008 Gold Glove winner and Silver Slugger winner at second base, batted .327 with 17 home runs and 83 runs batted in, and went on a torrid 12-for-18 stretch in August when he was called on to bat cleanup for the Red Sox. Pedroia also broke multiple team records, hitting for single-season records by a Red Sox second baseman for batting average, hits, runs, doubles, total bases, and extra-base hits.

For the punchy second baseman, this is just more national recognition. After struggling out of the gates in 2007, the relatively unknown Pedroia exploded onto the scene, en route to winning the Rookie of the Year award. His seventh-inning two-run home run in Game Seven of the 2007 American League Championship Series helped to break the game open, and his bases-clearing double in the eighth inning turned a relatively close game into a blowout. Pedroia also had a tremendous World Series, hitting a lead-off home run into the Green Monster on the second pitch he saw from Colorado Rockies starter Jeff Francis.

I can think of no player in baseball who has had a stronger first two seasons than Dustin Pedroia. Along with his four awards, he has a World Series ring and is beloved by a traditionally stingy Red Sox Nation, who have taken to him, thanks in large part to his Dirt Dog style of play and his tenacity at the plate and in the field. Before Pedroia, second base was a merry-go-round of mediocre talent, including Mark Loretta, Tony Graffanino, Ramon Vazquez, Mark Bellhorn and Todd Walker.

For the Red Sox to have an established star, only two years into his career, is a sign of how strong this team is going forward and is also tribute to how solid the Farm System is.

But lost in the shuffle of this past week were the Boston Bruins. The Bruins went north and west, playing three games in four days in Alberta and British Columbia. Goalie Tim Thomas recorded consecutive shutouts, as the Bruins won a 1-0 overtime thriller over the Edmonton Oilers on Monday night, and then Thomas put up another goose egg on the scoreboard on Tuesday night, as the Bruins defeated the Vancouver Canucks, 1-0. While they may have lost the finale of the road trip to the Calgary Flames, the Bruins established themselves as contenders in the Northeast Division.

And for those that questioned this team’s toughness, they need look no further than Saturday night’s raucous home game against the Dallas Stars. The Bruins accrued 77 penalty minutes during an old-fashioned donnybrook of a game, as the Bruins won 5-1. After Dallas’ Steve Ott went low and delivered cheap shots to Stephane Yelle and Milan Lucic, Andrew Ference took matters into his own hands, leveling Ott with a vicious open-ice hit in the third period. Following that hit, Ference and Dallas agitator Sean Avery threw the gloves down. But it would not be the last time Avery was involved in an on-ice ruckus. Late in the game, Avery hit Lucic from behind, crushing his face into the boards. The normally reserved Marc Savard led a charge of Bruins players, who swarmed Avery. On this night, Savard was not the only one to quiet people who questioned his tenacity. Phil Kessel and Shane Hnidy, both of whom have been referred to as “soft” over the last few months, engaged in the melee.

The Bruins currently stand at 6-3-3 with 15 points, only three points behind the division-leading Buffalo Sabres. Last year, the Bruins were forecast to finish dead last in the division, but led by their youth movement, the B’s grabbed the eighth and final spot in the Eastern Conference playoffs, and pushed the #1 seed Montreal Canadiens to the limit, before losing the decisive 7th game, 5-1.

This year, the Bruins seem hungrier and more talented than any team in recent memory. The Bruins have ten players age 25 or under, all of whom have played significant minutes and have made serious strides in improving the team. Also, a tip of the mask needs to be delivered to Tim Thomas, the Bruins goalie and anchor. Thomas is currently leading the NHL with a .944 save percentage and a second-best 1.83 goals against average, despite the fact that he is not even on the NHL’s Eastern Conference All-Star Ballot.

Thomas is without question the team’s MVP, and if he can maintain such a level of skill over the duration of the season, he could be looking at a Vezina Trophy in his future. (That’s the award for best goalie…yes, I had to look it up).

However this season continues and ends for the Bruins, one thing is for sure: do not take your eyes off of the B’s, because they are no longer a laughingstock. And if you want to laugh at them, they’ve got enough guys to knock that smile right off of your face.

* – the parenthesis represent the team’s playoff seeding within the conference

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Atlantic Division

• Boston Celtics (1)
• Toronto Raptors (5)
• Philadelphia 76ers (6)
• New Jersey Nets
• New York Knicks

Central Division

• Cleveland Cavaliers (2)
• Detroit Pistons (4)
• Chicago Bulls (8)
• Milwaukee Bucks
• Indiana Pacers

Southeast Division

• Orlando Magic (3)
• Miami Heat (7)
• Atlanta Hawks
• Washington Wizards
• Charlotte Bobcats

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Northwest Division

• Utah Jazz (3)
• Portland Trail Blazers (8)
• Denver Nuggets
• Minnesota Timberwolves
• Oklahoma City Thunder

Southwest Division

• New Orleans Hornets (2)
• San Antonio Spurs (4)
• Houston Rockets (5)
• Dallas Mavericks (7)
• Memphis Grizzlies

Pacific Division

• Los Angeles Lakers (1)
• Phoenix Suns (6)
• Los Angeles Clippers
• Golden State Warriors
• Sacramento Kings

EASTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS – QUARTERFINALS

• (1) Boston Celtics over (8) Chicago Bulls, 4-1
• (2) Cleveland Cavaliers over (7) Miami Heat, 4-2
• (3) Orlando Magic over (6) Philadelphia 76ers, 4-3
• (5) Toronto Raptors over (4) Detroit Pistons, 4-3

WESTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS – QUARTERFINALS

• (1) Los Angeles Lakers over (8) Portland Trail Blazers, 4-0
• (2) New Orleans Hornets over (7) Dallas Mavericks, 4-2
• (3) Utah Jazz over (6) Phoenix Suns, 4-2
• (5) Houston Rockets over (4) San Antonio Spurs, 4-3

EASTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS – SEMIFINALS

• (1) Boston Celtics over (5) Toronto Raptors, 4-1
• (2) Cleveland Cavaliers over (3) Orlando Magic, 4-2

WESTERN CONFERENCE PLAYOFFS – SEMIFINALS

• (1) Los Angeles Lakers over (5) Houston Rockets, 4-0
• (2) New Orleans Hornets over (3) Utah Jazz, 4-3

CONFERENCE FINALS

• (1) Boston Celtics over (2) Cleveland Cavaliers, 4-3
• (2) New Orleans Hornets over (1) Los Angeles Lakers, 4-2

2008-2009 NBA FINALS

• New Orleans Hornets over Boston Celtics, 4-2

AWARDS

• MOST VALUABLE PLAYER: Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics
• ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Michael Beasley, Miami Heat
• COACH OF THE YEAR: Nate MacMillan, Portland Trail Blazers
• DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics
• SIXTH MAN OF THE YEAR: James Posey, New Orleans Hornets
• MOST IMPROVED PLAYER: Rafer Alston, Houston Rockets
• ALL-STAR GAME M.V.P.: Baron Davis, Los Angeles Clippers
• FINALS M.V.P.: Chris Paul, New Orleans Hornets